Things that come with time

When I get a degree, I will be happy. When I get a job, I will value myself. When I move out, I will pat myself on the back. These big things take all the gratitude, yet so much is left unnoticed.

Our life is made up of milestones we set for ourselves. They portray our idea of success, and we believe that achieving these goals will solve all our problems. We´ll finally hit the final level of evolution and get the label perfect human being.

But guess what? Life is not a fucking game of The Sims 4!

Not only will you realise they weren´t such a big deal, but you´ll have so many other problems that these milestones will pass unnoticed.

You think your whole world will shift, but then you´re standing with your high school diploma in your hands, thinking, what now? Or you´ll have your first kiss, expecting the music to start playing in the background, time to go in slow motion, but it won´t. And you pass all the people on the street thinking, why isn´t everybody clapping and cheering, I´m a different person now!

We focus so much on these visible material milestones that we don´t appreciate the small achievements. I was viewing an apartment today, and instead of worrying, that I won´t be able to turn it into the place of my dreams, I was fucking grateful. I didn´t care about the colour of the floor, about cracks in the paint, about how some of the furniture won´t fit in perfectly. I EMBRACED those imperfections!

Yesterday, I got an F for my bachelor's thesis, but since I can still try to earn my diploma, I decided not to dwell on it. I was ABLE to tell myself that the critique is not personal, it´s purely academic, and it says nothing about me.

Then it hit me. I handled these things with rationality and understanding that I wouldn´t have been able to muster even a year ago. I let go of my perfectionism for just a moment and chose to be happy.

The other day, I offered my help to a couple that seemed lost. I made a phone call to my dentist without hesitation. I sat in silence with people, because I no longer find it uncomfortable. I complimented the outfit of a stranger. I started a small talk with a receptionist.

These are the small things my younger self could NEVER do. And these are the things I should appreciate and that give me my value.

Love,

Book and Tea Girl