Being my own hot mess

Living alone is a blast and a blessing for all the distracted, chaotic people like me. The adjective "chaotic" is probably not how my family would describe me. Especially not after coming into my apartment, where everything is put away and has a designated spot, and God forbid I find it elsewhere. Or after choosing a meal the day before from the restaurant´s online menu.

But my mind is a hot mess.

Imagine the scene from The Pirates of the Caribbean 3, where The Black Pearl and The Flying Dutchman are going down the gigantic whirlpool. All the pirates are fighting, a random monkey is swinging on a rope, it´s raining, the wood is creaking, and there are waves and noise.

That´s what it looks like inside my head.

For example, today, I went to do my laundry. I stopped in the bathroom because I noticed my sink was slightly dirty. I went to get a towel and a spray to clean the sink. But in the cabinet, I found the paprika spice I wanted to transfer into a spice jar. On my way to get it transferred to the kitchen, my watch buzzed with a notification. So I got my phone to text my friend back, and then I wanted to write down the date we agreed on for our yapping session. And I ended up planning my next week.

As you can see, my attention span can be quite SHORT.

This is why I love living alone so much. Nobody questions my random outbursts of energy. I can tell myself I´m tired and just watch a few episodes of a series, but then, after one episode, I decide it´s the perfect day to vacuum the whole apartment.

And why not mop the floors while I´m at it?

Being productive excites me. I literally get a rush from being productive. My eyes are widened and full of bloody veins, my breathing gets fast, and my mind goes about 200 kilometres per hour. I get so caught up in the activity that I don´t know how to stop.

Did I just make lunch? I should bake brownies, too!

Is it late Sunday evening, and the deadline for the group presentation is three weeks away? I have to do the presentation now!

You could say it´s a great skill to have, and I won´t fight you on it. On the other hand, I´m hasty and don´t think things through. I need to get them done NOW, and I´m like a horse with those flaps around its eyes. I just run forward without looking right or left.

So, everything has its ups and downs.

But it is a bliss to be able to clean the windows in your pyjamas without having breakfast first, and nobody questions it, except for your plants and stuffed animals.

Love,

Book and Tea Girl