Feng shui hates to see me coming

I´ve always been in touch with my esoteric side, and I love to organise my space. So, feng shui would seem like my kind of thing, right? Well, after reading an article about it, I´m afraid Chinese philosophers won´t be happy with me.

Let´s start with the fact that they won´t let me have an L-shaped sofa. Sorry, lads, but where else am I supposed to put a couch in a small room other than in a corner? Plus, an L-shaped sofa is ideal if you have friends over and need to convert it into a bed.

Then the matchmaking begins. According to feng shui, those who want to find a partner have to energise the south-west corner of the living room or bedroom by placing a floor light at least 1,75 m high there, and turn it on every evening. I ain´t no love expert, but by that you will probably lure in mosquitoes rather than a partner.

Then they tell you how to keep your place tidy, which is the only part of the article I agree with. Right after, they hit you with the fact that a bookcase is BAD FENG SHUI!

What do you mean I can´t have a bookcase? Where else am I to put my books? Apparently, its sharp corners generate negative "arrows", and if you have a bookcase, you ought to put a climbing plant on it to combat its effect. I mean, a plant would look nice, but I´m a stubborn woman, and I won´t be told where to put my plants.

The article continues. Avoid hanging pictures or lights above your bed, as this leads to a subconscious feeling of threat. I think the Chinese philosophers said that BEFORE fairy lights were invented. Because don´t tell me fairy lights make anybody threatened.

Last, you´re not supposed to use the same room for your bedroom and study, as the different energies will conflict. Well, excuse me, not all of us have mansions where we can have a separate study room and bedroom. Right now, I usually read my notes in bed before I sleep.

In conclusion, I thought I was ready to embrace feng shui when getting my apartment, but if I were to achieve that, I would probably give myself a headache. So, I guess my place will be crawling with bad energy, maybe I should put a warning sign on the door.

Love,

Book and Tea Girl