Adulthood is not fearless, and the swans agree

I was standing on a grassy hill, my heart pounding and a chill descending my spine. I was all alone, in a new city, in a foreign country, but nothing of that scared me. What did scare me were the swans.

Turning 18, I thought something must change. I would feel a breeze equipping me with rationality, respect, the ability to do my taxes, and the ability not to get overwhelmed by the administration. Nothing happened. I still sit at the children’s table, and my younger cousins laugh at me. Administration scares me, and I get overwhelmed by sending an email.

However, the lowest point of my adulthood was when I encountered the Leicester swans.

I went for a walk by the canal on a sunny autumn day. I was in a great mood. Suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks. There was a bunch of swans blocking the path. I vividly remembered the time I encountered them the last time, they hissed at me viciously, so I used the stairs and got around them. This time, I thought, I’m an adult. I don´t get scared by swans. Huge mistake.

After one step, one especially big swan turned her head at me, and the next second, I was climbing on the small grassy hill next to the pavement. Captured by a swan. That´s rich. We were staring at each other intensely, not moving an inch.

Suddenly, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. It was another person walking by the canal. A wave of embarrassment poured over me. There´s no way a stranger will see me standing on a hill, staring at a swan, too afraid to go past her.

I mustered all my courage and went down the hill. The swan was watching me closely, but she didn´t do anything. She let me escape without any violence. I had to sigh. There I was, thinking how being 21 makes me respectful and fearless, yet I was held captive by a grumpy bird. Life can bite you in the butt (just like a swan).

Love,

Book and Tea Girl